My 12th scene "Dildoed"

Hmmm writing this while watching Queer as Folk this should come out as an interesting post.  This scene happened when someone cancelled the shoot and Christian Owen needed someone to fill in for him. Since I lived in LA driving to Palm Springs, made me a quick fill in. I was told to come to set at a certain time and wow that was a lie. I was stuck there for over eight hours waiting. That was a huge bore. I just wanted to shoot myself. Christian Owen is known for lying about things that have to do with shooting or porn in general. Like as in emails and text messages telling you are a top or a bottom and you find out on set you are the opposite.

So the shoot was in a rank Palm Springs clothing optional resort. The resort smelled of piss and shit, and with some very hideous trolls roaming the grounds and even with a “Do Not Enter” sign that did not stop the trolls from poking their deteriorating mugs shots on set. Alessio Romero was in three of the four scenes and he offered to be in the scene with me but my scene partner was Jimmy Durano. Alessio has this look where you just kind of want to do whatever he says when he looks at you. Jimmy is sweet and sexy but a little unknown fact is, that he drives like a grandmother which is very cute to behold.

So the scene was kind of boring. The scene had dildos and I kind of like the feeling of a hot muscle body slamming into my ass. So I am not a huge fan of toys. I will use them but not on a regular basis. But there was none of that on set, sad for me. Christian Owen after seeing me take the dildo I brought, ASSumed I was able to take a fist but that wasn’t going to happen. The highlight of the shoot was when I got to deep throat Jimmy’s fat ol’cock. Which always helps me getting close to cumming but that never ended up on film. Other than that nothing exciting happened. Hot House is kind of a lame studio to shoot since Christian decided to take the studio over. Not to say that some of the things he does aren’t kind of fun and funny while filming. It just sometimes come across like your shooting for Falcon, which if you had to be on set doing every position five times. It gets really annoying. Which includes close ups, wide shots, real sex, fake sex and fake faces you’d want go back to working retail at the local “If Only” store.

 

The Devil you know

He calls me “Momma.” But in some circles of the San Francisco underworld I am known as “Condoleezza Brown Rice.”  For those of you readers who don’t know me, I am the “awesome roommate” that Jed speaks of in earlier posts. I am honored to be his guest “ghost” writer because I wanted to give (you the fans) a little peak into the life of the rough, tumble and sometimes controversial Jed Athens.

 
First of all his name ain’t Jed but I guess you knew that. No one has ever jacked off to the birth name of any porn star. This one included. But don’t try to find out his real name. It is locked away in a secret vault in Chechnya where I adopted him for 100 thousand rubles (About 29.95 in US currency) and a crate of KY Jelly from military overstock. You see, I, Miss Condi was working as an American attaché in the city of Grozny (Russian for Horrible) (back in the day) when Jed’s older sister Basia, paid me to get him out of what she described as “this war torn hell hole” (see www.ruscapturedboys.com)

To say that Jed has “Anger issues” is to over simplify a complex study in sexual Predatory Lustful Post Traumatic Butt Syndrome PLPTBS (It’s the latest in the DSM IV). But alas the poor lad has had a rough start in life…and he’s still a little pissed. When he wasn’t dodging grenades in his homeland, he was plotting his escape to America to find his fame and fortune. He found Adult Entertainment.

At first, I was totally against his entering the porn scene. I thought it was a dangerous choice and the powers that be would eventually suck him into a meth induced coma.  Not to mention having to deal with these toxic, bitchy, venomous vamps permeating this terrain. But to my surprise, Jed has managed to stay away from drugs and alcohol and has never sucked cum, succumbed to this wicked and destructive lifestyle. He rarely goes out but when he does it’s usually dinner and a movie with close friends here in West Los Angeles. At home, he takes care of his gigantic fish tank and beautiful orchid collection. He also enjoys his mind boggling collection of vintage Japanese Kimono’s. Jed never does anything small! I guess you could say Jed is addicted to….more. Yes MORE.

Sexually and artistically, Jed HAS turned up more than one eyebrow with his superb muscle control, his rapid fire pelvic thrusts, his insatiable hunger for hot men and an Ass that becomes more Negro as the days go by. Boo-Day! Yes, baby got back and then some!

Unfortunately Jed’s razor sharp tongue gets him into trouble at times and amuses many at others. He holds back nothing and tells it like it is. I have, on more than one occasion, explained to him that truth is not always good to rub people’s faces in. But He just can’t help himself. Jed speaks his mind, sometimes at his own peril. But in a city of flakes, fakes and quakes, you can be sure of one thing: you NEVER have to guess where Jed stands and he will NEVER pretend to like you if he doesn’t.

Having said that, I want all of you to know just what a wonderful person Jed is on the inside. Beneath that rock solid exterior of pure, unadulterated “Fuck Machine” lays a heart of gold. But be careful how you handle this golden heart or you are liable to end up with a molten crown of bullion: Kinda like the mother of dragon’s bro on Game of Thrones. Bottom line; If you are lucky enough to score Jed as a friend then you’ve got a loyal friend for life and no one can ask for more than that.    CONDI

11th Scene, Got Milked? (First Fisting Scene)

So lets break a few things down before I go into this scene. I love the fact stupid blogs and annoying website like to post this video thinking its going degrade me and think its going to piss me off some how. The simple fact is besides my knees killing and wrecking /hurting Tanner's hole me this scene was fucking hilarious to shoot. So for the pee brain that think it was milk up Tanners ass you are wrong. It was a combo of J-lube, water, Crisco and anal ease thrown into a blender. Before you post as if you know everything think again, because if you post something and are incorrect it only makes you look like a twat waffle. (If you don't know what a twat waffle is Google it!)

 

As I sit back in bed as my stiches heal form mole removals, I am writing this, I start to wonder where Tanner is. I kind of miss joking and talking to him he is truly a really good guy and I miss him. He was a sweet and very cuddly person to be around off set. Let me not forget he also has an amazingly open hole. You could just talk to him and he was bluntly honest like I am but he has a filter. So all in all he would be a good friend to anyone that would meet him, you know just a good guy to be around.

So the scene was pretty funny to shoot. We experimented with how many different things and in what order could we insert up Tanners butt. So after a while the scene just went on and on. The thing that took the longest was the lube squirting out of Tanners butt. Not because of mine or Tanners fault. But because of everyone else on set and if I remember correctly that was four other people. The final take was the one used. The reason why it was the final take because it was the 12th time we filmed that shot. Every one on set was laughing so hard because each take that had been shot my facial expression got funnier and weirder as time went on. Obviously my acting skills have fooled most if not everyone who watched it. Because most people think I was grossed out or freaked out. I was having a ball on set.

 

All in all it wasn't that bad of a shoot, it just seemed to go on and on. I felt bad for Tanner's poor hole it was over used. I just wish Tanner didn't drop off the face of the earth and had stayed in contact!