The Truth As I SEE It.

I am writing this post for a few reasons. Most people think celebs even porn actors are something of interest. There really isn't much of a difference. Except movie stars get paid way too much money so they can shit on a heated toilet seat. Everyone has hope dreams, goals and aspirations even porn actors. Porn actors’ lives aren't completely about sex. For the most part we lead our lives just like the rest of the population. We just have less inhibitions about sex. We (not all but most) have maintained a level of attractiveness that is sometimes considered arousing in certain situations. Some of us have issues with self-esteem and our value system where we think getting work done on our faces and butt implants and silicone injections to our cocks is going to make us more of what our followers and fans want. Not all of us but the ones who are so obsessed they leave their business and run off to do porn. They make porn their lives tend to fall apart at the seams. Leaving their friends and there family for new and more disastrous places where people pick you apart and make you worry more about what really doesn't matter and less of what does.

 

I was dating Erik Rhodes when he died. Even though I had told Adam R. at Falcon. He wrote up a statement telling the people he was still dating that half whit Ricardo when he passed. Which was quite upsetting when you read something like that. I wasn't there when he died but I have slowly gotten information here or there and I don't know what is true or what is not. From what I know of his actions this is probably what actually went down. There are rumors that Erik was escorting (which we all know he did and won awards for) and doing a three way with Samuel Colt and there were drugs involved. Erik was taking these kind of drugs when I was dating him HGH, Steroids, Heroine, Meth, G, and a number of different very powerful prescription pills. From my knowledge I was the only one who ever got him to throw drugs away. He tried to shoot up in front of me. Before he pushed the plunger down he turned and looked at me. I had the look of sadness in my face. He looked like a pit-bull puppy and gave me puppy eyes like he knew he did something bad. He said why, do you make me feel so bad about this. My response was you do drug when you are not happy and when you want the pain to go away. Why would you need that with me? I told him I loved him and he didn't need to be anything other than himself with me. This was at the Ramada in West Hollywood. He flushed tons of drugs down the toilet and about 3.5 ounces of meth.

 

 

Erik (James) was a wonderful person sweet and adorable yes even for his giant size. He loved to be the little spoon and be cuddled. He would hold your hand and snuggle after he places your leg up and over his hip making you look like a spider monkey that got attached to him. James had a serious problem with drug spurred on form family problems and from the porn industry. He loved to talk about you trying to avoid talking about himself. He no longer thought people want to know him as James, just Erik a side of him that was so out there that people only knew that part about him. I got to know a side of him very few if anyone knew. He was a big guy before he got into porn but that was still not enough for the industry he could never satisfy them, a lot like how he felt about his family life, which he completely internalized. His two biggest reason for doing drugs was Porn and his Family.

 

People need to know there are soul behind what they fantasize about not just cock or ass starved sex fiends. People tend to only want to talk to porn actors about sex and not what you think outside of porn. The Industry tell you to say nothing but nice things which tend to be lies, to make people like you, but why? It was shown that 80% of all comments left on Facebook are negative! We as a culture love to tear each other down and for what. Hell I have done it a lot. I do it with humorous ways or in frustration because people don't make things easy for each other and revenge sometimes feels so much better in the immediate moment and you don't look at the long term. We as people look at ways of how we can pass on our pain to others. The reason for this is because we don't want to wallow in our own misery alone. Zach the asshole form Str8upgayporn is a perfect example of a miserable person that does this exact thing.

 

Unlike him I give my honest opinion I don't alter other peoples words or thought to make a head line. He doesn't possess that kind of talent that is why his is what he is. I hate Bruno B. with a passion for the shit he put me in and I hate Falcon for allowing a person to continue being a sack of shit and paying him just because they like his husband. Both Bruno and his husband are sick and twisted. Steve and Bruno stated in a tweet last year to look out that they will be hiring ethnic actors first and then the white ones later. Regardless that you write in you submission form saying you are not into certain kinds of guys they will pair you with what you are not attracted too. If you complain or throw a fit they will 86 you and you never work for them again. They put that pressure on you because you don't want to lose a job. So you go along with it, even if you have a problem. So what do you do to rid yourself of the pain? You might take drug or drink or even kill yourself, because you feel trapped?

 

Bruno and Steve since working with Falcon has turned the All American look Studio to basically the condom version of SX Video. Even SX will have a good looking guy here and there but its more of a fluke.  Even though most of their customers want to see white guys they are bound and determined to run that studio even farther into the ground, offering the opposite. They aren't scolded because the parent company can throw cash left and right saving their asses. Even the awards are a huge joke because they aren't based on sales it based on blogs and most of the blogs are run by their friends.  So talentless people will win awards because they either have fucked a blogger or are/have slept with the director/s to get more attention.

This is a sick continuous cycle will go on and on. The funny thing is the public doesn't have a clue. For example Hookie Award winner Tate Ryder didn't win MR. Los Angeles because he was the most popular he won because of Chi-Chi gave it to him. He gave it to him because he was going to be working with him in FL on set. Nothing is fair in this industry actor’s use to make a killing and tons of money. Not anymore and that sad. Because anyone with a camera can do porn. Doesn't matter if they are attractive or not. Quality is no longer important. We as a society want quantity and we have no problem throwing anything and everything away for the newest thing. I know of several porn boys who have taken their lives because they were thrown away. They were promised things and molded into what they were told to be and then tossed aside when they were finished with them. It is this kind of bull shit that makes porn actors (that don’t brown nose) not trust anyone.

 

Porn actors are not superheroes. Most tops can’t keep it up so they inject their dicks with Tri-mix or use Viagra. Most the time scenes are awful and very few are good. You get paired with annoying people and sometimes with amazing people. Porn is not glamorous it’s actually kind of tragic. No one really wants to talk about the truth and when you do you get bashed for it or swept under the rug. People are horrible at their best for the most part in the industry. To name a few amazing people I got to work that you don't see in the video that are behind the camera are Adam Killian, Jake Steele, Chris Crisco, Rusty Ford, Brian Mills, and Jasun Marks. People that you are happy to see when you’re on set because they make you laugh or take care of you when you are upset or just need a hug.

 

Porn actors aren't perfect And they don't claim to be, some actually think they are god’s gift to mankind of but they tend to be miserable people. I am not perfect I have emotions and problems just like the rest of the human race. I just don't handle my issues like everyone else. Where they just accept that life is shit and go on with their lives. I fight back with words because I don't settle for being abused like the rest of the world has become accustom to. I am not heartless but I am one huge ass hole when you cross me. I don't have a filter nor do I want one. So people can’t confuse the passion or the pain in what I feel or say. I have a right to think unobstructed by whomever wants to control an outcome they can go fuck themselves. I am not a CLONE I will not conform to what I have been told to conform to. It’s not in my nature. I have lost loved ones from the fact they weren't strong enough to just say no, to drug and other people wills.

 

So asshole like the writer from Manhunt Daily, Str8upgayporn and their gaggle of lonely miserable followers can kiss my ass. You may write shit about me and I will state this again, you are faceless and you are nobodies. I have a face and a voice and when you’re long gone and sitting on the patio of the Mongoliod-convalescent wing and your shitty comments will be gone too, people will know who I am and there will be proof that lives on that defies your articles and pisses on you work and lack of work in some cases. Instead of being like herpes on the face of the earth, why not work with the people, instead you like to tear them apart. Get the answer or interviews from the actors themselves and not fabricate lies and crap stories up to get yourselves attention. Truth rings much stronger than fabricated lies. Things might change and make life easier and less of a headache for the ones you so stalk form studio to studio.