The Devil you know

He calls me “Momma.” But in some circles of the San Francisco underworld I am known as “Condoleezza Brown Rice.”  For those of you readers who don’t know me, I am the “awesome roommate” that Jed speaks of in earlier posts. I am honored to be his guest “ghost” writer because I wanted to give (you the fans) a little peak into the life of the rough, tumble and sometimes controversial Jed Athens.

 
First of all his name ain’t Jed but I guess you knew that. No one has ever jacked off to the birth name of any porn star. This one included. But don’t try to find out his real name. It is locked away in a secret vault in Chechnya where I adopted him for 100 thousand rubles (About 29.95 in US currency) and a crate of KY Jelly from military overstock. You see, I, Miss Condi was working as an American attaché in the city of Grozny (Russian for Horrible) (back in the day) when Jed’s older sister Basia, paid me to get him out of what she described as “this war torn hell hole” (see www.ruscapturedboys.com)

To say that Jed has “Anger issues” is to over simplify a complex study in sexual Predatory Lustful Post Traumatic Butt Syndrome PLPTBS (It’s the latest in the DSM IV). But alas the poor lad has had a rough start in life…and he’s still a little pissed. When he wasn’t dodging grenades in his homeland, he was plotting his escape to America to find his fame and fortune. He found Adult Entertainment.

At first, I was totally against his entering the porn scene. I thought it was a dangerous choice and the powers that be would eventually suck him into a meth induced coma.  Not to mention having to deal with these toxic, bitchy, venomous vamps permeating this terrain. But to my surprise, Jed has managed to stay away from drugs and alcohol and has never sucked cum, succumbed to this wicked and destructive lifestyle. He rarely goes out but when he does it’s usually dinner and a movie with close friends here in West Los Angeles. At home, he takes care of his gigantic fish tank and beautiful orchid collection. He also enjoys his mind boggling collection of vintage Japanese Kimono’s. Jed never does anything small! I guess you could say Jed is addicted to….more. Yes MORE.

Sexually and artistically, Jed HAS turned up more than one eyebrow with his superb muscle control, his rapid fire pelvic thrusts, his insatiable hunger for hot men and an Ass that becomes more Negro as the days go by. Boo-Day! Yes, baby got back and then some!

Unfortunately Jed’s razor sharp tongue gets him into trouble at times and amuses many at others. He holds back nothing and tells it like it is. I have, on more than one occasion, explained to him that truth is not always good to rub people’s faces in. But He just can’t help himself. Jed speaks his mind, sometimes at his own peril. But in a city of flakes, fakes and quakes, you can be sure of one thing: you NEVER have to guess where Jed stands and he will NEVER pretend to like you if he doesn’t.

Having said that, I want all of you to know just what a wonderful person Jed is on the inside. Beneath that rock solid exterior of pure, unadulterated “Fuck Machine” lays a heart of gold. But be careful how you handle this golden heart or you are liable to end up with a molten crown of bullion: Kinda like the mother of dragon’s bro on Game of Thrones. Bottom line; If you are lucky enough to score Jed as a friend then you’ve got a loyal friend for life and no one can ask for more than that.    CONDI